Southern man

Another internet dating meet.

After emailing back and forth a few times he asked for my phone number, I gave him my cell number expecting a text, but he called me. We spoke easily for over an hour and a half.

We looked into meeting that Friday but it didn't quite suit. We agreed on the Friday after.

I had no contact from him all week, so Thursday night I sent him a text confirming all was well for tomorrow. It was, there was no conversation by text or email, old fashioned maybe, and I wonder if I can change that cos I like the sending and receiving of sweet nothings in the night texts when you can't be together and thinking of you, when you do.

I was early to our meeting place, a bar with a restaurant. I sent him a text to let him know on the off chance he might be early too. He was and was there within 5 minutes.

It was nice to meet him, he looked just like his pic. He is 6 foot, good build, a nice blend of metro and rugged. We have a lot in common and easily broke the cardinal rule of not talking about the Ex's. But we have been through so much of the same things it was nice to find support and understanding.

He was a farm worker for a while but then injured himself so went to university and studied for the job he has now. Its a good job, not stuck in an office all the time but out and about on the land as well. He likes to hunt, I find that very sexy in a man, the ability to hunt and provide.

We went for dinner after the drink, he insisted he bought, he understood my financial limitations. Dinner was nice, we talked a lot about food, how nice it is to be cooked for, he is the single parent of two daughters. His ex wife while able to look after the kids for a short time is not in a place where she can for long. We both feel the same about introducing a new partner to the kids, not doing it right away. We both had dessert, I actually felt comfortable eating dessert around him, not like the fat girl pigging out. He showed me some pics on his phone from across the table, when I showed him some in exchange he came and sat beside me. There was a warmth and comforting feeling having him beside me like that. I felt like he would be someone who was on my side and supportive.

We went for a walk down to the lake front, it was a couple of blocks away and not a straightforward path, so at one stage I took his hand to lead him, but kept hold as it was nice to be with him like that.

We looked at the stars, he asked if I knew the southern cross etc, I said yes and showed him a few more constellations he didn't know. Then I thought I'd bull shit him a bit and started pointing out Sagittarius and Taurus and then laughed my arse of when he started to see things I was pointing out and I explained I had no idea what I was pointing to.

It was fun to tease him and play with him as well as be close and talk. I knew he would kiss me at the lake front and I think he knew it too, but it took ages for the moment to be right.

His kisses were firmer than I'm used to, but they got softer and more passionate, I will need to take things slow with him, he has not dated since his wife.

Eventually after nothing more than kissing we walked back to my car and said goodbye, we have already set a 2nd date for next weekend, maybe a bike ride and picnic, maybe a rafting trip, will be subject to weather I guess.

Update 1

I had a second date with SM, it started well, he picked me up. He bought some steaks from his farm for me to cook him for tea... I kind of thought that was a bit presumptious and kind of liked his style. We went out to a small town, intending to do a bush walk based there. We went for lunch first, lovely meal, good conversation etc. then we drove to where the bush walk started and it started pouring with rain. we sat in the car chatting for a bit then he drove down by the river where there was a lovely view of the mountains and pulled me into his lap to kiss me. Again the kisses were very firm, almost biting too. He told me he was able to stay the night with me, I was ok with that idea. We lay back the seats and made out for a bit, I felt his crutch and it was soft, I was surprized as he was having a good go at my breasts... he got my shirt off me and my bra and I was sitting astride him in the car when about 40 kayakers pulled up and got out of the river right where we were... OMG I'm glad I saw them first. I rolled over back to my seat and pulled my coat over me, the first kayaker got a good look and had a giggle but the rest were oblivious. All this time SM stayed soft... it was discussed, he said he had spoken to his doc about it and his doc said that as he still had a morning glory there was no medical issue. He is taking anti depressants and they mess with function he said. We got back to my place and I cooked him his steak... perfectly, well I was a wife for 14 years lol. I had a DVD I wanted to watch but he wouldn't watch it with me. It was a thriller he doesn't like scary movies... ok, but then he wouldn't let me watch it either. that bugged me as it was still too early to go to bed and to be honest I was getting sick of his company. It was too long to spend together. He stayed the night but wanted to cuddle all night. That bugs me, I cuddle for a bit then roll over and get some sleep. In the morning, true to word he had a lovely morning glory.. but it faded before we could get a condom on. Then Aunt Flow turned up with a clear agenda, no slow start and spotting like she usually does. I dealt to Aunt Flow and went back to bed and fell asleep. Later I let him get up and see himself out, I was tired.

We have had a few phone calls and a couple of text conversations since then, he wants another date but I think I'm going to have to say no, there just isn't the spark I want.

Update 2

He asked if I would meet him for a drink on Friday at 4pm, thats when I drop the kids off to their Dad.

I did and it was good to se him. I was going to tell him it was going nowhere but he had made a picnic. I was impressed, he had even made sushi, not bought it. It was good too.

We spent a lot of time talking, he told me all about his religion and I felt really uncomfortable, I don't believe. We had so little in common but he still wanted to see me again.

I agreed but then spoke to him on the phone and cancelled, I don't see the point of dragging things out when its not going to work.

Son of a Gun

SO, he is about my age, single, and a lot like his Dad, I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

After meeting him with his Dad I thought about him a fair bit. So I called him a week later, looked up his number and gave him a call. He knew exactly who I was, no hesitation in his voice at all. I told him I was coming to town with my kids the next day, did he and his daughter want to play with my kids? He was really keen on that. He asked if we wanted to stay the night. Now having seen his house and how small it is I said no. But he said there was a trundle bed and he could fit more people in. I said no, but said another time when I don't have the kids sure. Another time turned out to be a weekend later.

Now I wasn't sure if I should let his Dad know I was chatting to his son, I figured Dad would call son and give him some advice if he knew and I didn't want that. But I didn't want things to work out for us and be a total surprise for Dad either.

So the next weekend I headed down there, he was going to be out when I got there, he was meeting friends and I was running late so I got instructions on how to let myself in, make myself at home and then join them. I did.

When we got to the bar he introduced me as My Dads friend, that was so embarrassing! He said "My friend too" when I blushed. We had a lot of fun, laughing and drinking with his friends, we both got very drunk. He pulled me up for a dance and then pulled me in close and kissed me during it. His friends were way past ready to go home and we walked with them a short distance then walked hand in hand for a while then stopped in a shop doorway and made out a bit. He felt my breasts, I felt his very firm crutch, I was ready to go home too, or at least to the park nearby. But he said, No, I never get to go out on the town, lets go to a few other places first. Well the town had sure changed since I went there and there were several bars I'd not been to before to visit. I felt fairly old but not fat in this town! I was quite surprised by the amount of overweight women about.

He was just like his Dad to walk about with, said Hello to everyone, seemed very alpha male and dominant. Then as we were crossing a pedestrian crossing a car full of kids shot right in front of us, he thumped on the window of it. It screeched to a halt and the drive jumped out and grabbed him by his shirt and tried to head butt him. he said Mate if you want to fight do it here and backed into a shop that was open that clearly had security cameras. The guy took one swing, then came to his senses and got back in his car. I know Son of a Gun was drunk, but I couldn't stand the way he acted. He was very macho, and threatened to burn the guys house down if he messed with him again. I was like, whatever and tried to get him home. He wanted some food first and we waited on a burger and some chips, all the time there was macho crowing and it annoyed me.

By the time we got the taxi home my annoyance had worn off though, we had a lot of fun that night in the shower and on the couch, he slept on the couch and I slept in the spare bed, his bed remained untouched. We had fun on the floor in front of the fire in the morning.

I got up and did the things I had to do in town and then bought some lunch back, he was still in his dressing gown and nursing a hangover while I was dressed and had been up for 5 hours and was feeling fine. So I was sitting at his place having lunch and there was a knock on the front door... It was his Dad. I felt like a teen who had been caught in the act. I explained what I'd been up to, censored of course, and He explained why he was visiting his son. I told him about the fight the night before and made out I was leading his son astray, taking him out on the town and then fighting in the street. I had to go, I had my next appointment to get to.

Son of a gun called me a few hours later and suggested I come back for a cup of coffee. In the sober light of day he wanted to spend some time with me. It didn't take long till we were making out on the couch again. But afterwards, he seemed distant. He jumped onto his computer and was checking Trade Me auctions. I had packed everything up and I said to him, "I'm not sure when I'm in town again but that was fun so if you are still single and I'm still single next time I'm in town, perhaps it would be fun to do that again." he replied "For sure"

I'm in two minds about him, he is a lot like his Dad which I find very attractive, but he is also a lot different from his Dad in ways I don't like, the over drinking and aggressiveness is huge turn off, his Dad never get drunk like that- I admire the way his Dad drinks. he also wasn't that great in bed, the sex was good but it was my efforts rather than his that made it that way, just talking he is a lot less experienced than me, there are things he has never done sexually that I'd like to change. However, I feel like I'm only interested in him as he is his fathers son. But I just can't find his father sexually attractive at all.

I'll update this and let you know what happens.

UPDATE 1

No contact from SOAG for a couple of week, then got a text from him 9 in the morning Sunday, exactly a month after last contact. "Hey, wot you up too" I was still in bed and replied I was having a sleep in. He said he was too and was having fun thinking about my visit and wondering when I was next in town.

I was a bit thrown by my reaction to him, I smiled and replied right away, I was keen and turned on by the idea of visiting him again. His texts back to me came instantly too. I think thats always a good sign.I had planned to go to Invers the next weekend. I let him know and he offered accommodation. Later that day I found out a dear friend had passed away and the funeral was Friday, so my visit was confirmed.

He knew a lot of friends of my friend who has passed, but he had work the next morning and started at 5am so wasn't interested in going to the wake. But then after the wake, some friends were heading to a hot tub another friend had, swimwear was optional there and he was early tempted into coming. I called over to see him for a bit... yeah a booty call. I have to admit, he does it for me when he smiles. I spent a couple of hours with him, then joined my die hard friends giving the dearly beloved the send off she would have loved. I got back to his place just in time to see him off to work. He totally did it for me in his work uniform too, I'm very attracted to him physically.

After a long sleep in I spent the day with my friends, but made it back to his place in time for him to get home. He pretty much ignored me and got out of his work gear, got changed and said he was off to watch the rugby. I had plans with my friends and he said he might join us later. Later I sent him a text, but no reply, later I said I was heading back to his place but no reply, I felt weird about sleeping in his bed without him there, so I slept in my sleeping bag on the spare bed. I fell asleep, i was knackered, at 4am I woke up and he still wasn't home, I checked my phone and there was a text from his at 1am saying he would be home soon. I felt sick. It bought back how I used to feel about my ex husband when he got too drunk and fell asleep somewhere. I worry about people. I sent him a text asking if he was ok, as soon wasn't 3 hours in my book. he replied after 30 mins saying he was two mins away. He was home and all my sick and angry feelings melted and I was happy to be with him again. I spent what was left of the night with him, the first time we had slept in a bed together... as in sleeping not ... yeah.

He wasn't snuggly and cuddly, but then I usually find that a bit suffocating. When he woke up we were at it again... the sex was a lot better than last time. But I didn't want to hang about, I left while he was in the shower, said I'd call him next time I was in town.

I don't think we are relationship compatible, there is too much I'd want to change and mostly his drinking habits. But I do think he could become a good friend with benefits.

Stewart Island

SO Off to Stewart Island I went, the Singles Ball as a matter of fact.

There was a group of 11 of us who went, 10 women and my dear friend Allan who was totally in his element with statistics like that.

I'd been chatting to a guy online and decided to meet up with him on the way there. He was lovely, he was huge though closer to 7foot than 6. I was a bit giggly with him, I found him very attractive. I dominated the conversation but mostly with stupid high school girl chatter. I'm so embarrassed with myself. I thought I'd never hear from him again.( I did, got a Skype chat message when I got back- if it gets any further like to another meeting I'll give him his own post)

So I left my coffee with him and managed to get to the plane on time, lovely flight over, I got to be co-pilot sitting beside the pilot with my foot on a very important part of the rudder with the instructions not to move it.

We had nibbles and some drinks at the house on the island and then went for dinner at the pub. Allan embarrassed me totally by mentioning the teabag-ing conversation* we had last time on the island. It happened during a lull in the restaurant conversation and everyone heard me say TEA BAGGING ITS WHEN YOU..... and then three guys at the table next to me turned and looked at me and laughed out loud... along with all the ladies at my table. So I snubbed my friends and went and sat with the 3 guys, explained the incident and how innocent it was, introduced myself, recommended the fish and returned to my friends.

We hit the bar side a few hours later and I met some lovely Stewart Island locals, most of them married, they seemed almost scared of me, I'd introduce myself and ask their name and they would reply in one word BobI'mMarried looking sideways to see if anyone could see them talking to me and blushing. One of them asked me to come with him and introduced me to a young local guy "This is Greg and he is a 20 year old virgin" I don't think thats the best opening line for poor Greg sadly, cos the wee fella blushed redder than his hair. I had a lovely conversation with Greg and made him promise to dance with me at the ball tomorrow night. I was totally uninterested in him but it was good sport having a chat.

I did notice one guy there who turned my head a few times, he wasn't handsome but more chiseled looking, He looked over my way a few times but not in an interested way. I found him quite magnetic, like I was drawn to him. Obviously I was not the only one, he always seemed to have women around him. One of the married local guys introduced me to him later when the pub was a bit quieter, I found him interesting to talk to but didn't think he was interested in me at all... I guess I was wrong there. at about 11.30pm he said to me "we should talk more, but I'm tired, join me in my room tonight?" I said "No" but he said "You know your going to" I protested a bit more, not sure why cos I thought about sex and thought yeah that would be fun tonight. He left me for a bit, to think it over and I chatted to my friends, the sad few who were left. Allan the mindful chaperone was all like "You go girl, just let me know the room number so I know you are safe" And the chiseled stranger came back and just led me away.

He was a big guy and very strong and the sex was a bit aggressive and rough, not bad though. we showered together and I stayed the night. We climbed into bed and he unloaded some stress he had had the week before, he had done CPR on a guy in a bar and the guy had lived, he was almost tearful trying to describe what emotions he was feeling at having saved someones life. I could relate to him, as an Ambulance officer/fire fighter I've had some similar experiences. All night he was very cuddly, pulling me close to him from whichever corner of the bed I escaped to, It was very hot in the room and I felt overheated and smothered. At one stage his arm went around my neck and I woke feeling trapped, I got up and went to the toilet then slept in the spare bed in the room. I snuck out in the morning when I thought he was asleep but then realized I'd left my phone in his room so snuck back and got it. He was awake, like he must have been faking sleep, I'd been gone 10 seconds. I said go back to sleep- I'd see him at the ball, grabbed my phone and left. He said "ok see you there."

I thought all day about weather I wanted to peruse things with him. I decided that if he was really into me he could do some chasing, then I could decide, I was leaning towards a catch and release though.

I was at the ball before he was, I saw him right away, he sat at the table by the door and watched the group I was with dancing. He never came over or said hi. We did chat briefly when I passed him, I said "Hi, how's it going?" and he said good and went to say something else but somebody else came over and distracted us. I never did chat to him again, he was whenever I looked surrounded by women, by the end of the night he was clearly interested in one of them.

When I got home I googled him and found some information that would have been a deciding factor against continuing anything with him, so I felt it was a lucky escape.

I had, at the ball attracted the interest of a couple of local guys, they seemed nice but no spark. I kept one of them at arms length, told him I wasn't into guys who smoked. He said he was giving up, I said, well I'll see you here next year when you are a non smoker. he was gutted he said a chick like you doesn't stay single for a year. I reminded him I was here last year so had been single for a year and had enjoyed that year so it would take someone very special to make me change... but I was open to the idea. He asked for my phone number but didn't have his phone with him or any way to write it down. He then asked if he could meet me at the airport to say goodbye. I said ok to that.

On the way to the airport, a bright yellow Tuk-tuk went past, it was him, he swooped back around and picked me and the girl I was walking with up, he gave me his phone number then. I thought he would have been too drunk to remember me! He is sweet at least, I called a friend who used to live on the island to get a reference... she said he was a really nice guy but heavy drinker. I don't need another heavy drinker in my life.

It was a nice flight back, I sat in the back of the plane and dozed a bit during the 15 min flight, I'd only had 3 hours sleep. We all descended upon Allan's son's house for lunch... Now I've often felt I'd love a man like Allan but younger... why had I not thought of his son before? Son of a gun is 3 years younger than me, he seemed attentive and a bit flirty, totally ignored the other woman in his age bracket there and when she sat beside him and showed him pics of us he kept pointing me out, nobody else, I was sitting on the other side of him. He stuck in my head as the lasting meeting of the weekend. He gets his own post now.

It was a long trip home, we were all tired, took turns driving. Stopped and looked at a hat and accessory shop in the middle of nowhere, I bought a scarf.

* Allan and I had done a ceroc dance class and then learnt some moves at my place, one of them was called the Tea Pot. Allan and I were dancing last year at the ball and he said loudly "Ok Teabag me" and I fell to my knees with laughter. I tried to explain what he had just implied but the company did not fit the explanation. So the next morning when we took a lovely dawn walk on the beach alone I explained what tea bagging was. (Its a urban dictionary type term for a sex act, look it up if you are still in the dark.) He was both amused and mortified that I chose such a beautiful pristine location to soil with the explanation.