Internet Dating
This is the easiest pond to find a lot of frogs, but its not always easy to use.
I've found you cannot trust pictures at all, they are either old or a one off poor example of what the person thinks is a great shot of them.
Personal peeves, people who list their greatest feature as their smile but have a solemn pic.
Group pics where you can't tell who is who.
Pics where you can see a chick has been poorly edited out.
I hate the comment "looking for a serious relationship"... I think its more correct to say not actively avoiding a serious relationship as whenever you meet frogs and are not that into them they seem to take it as you are not ready for a serious relationship. Then if you have the gaul to put that in your profile, don't make your opening line in a chat be "Are you keen on some casual fun?"
Children, people often put they want or don't want children. This always requires some clarification, are you open to the fact a partner may have kids?
Once you get over the initial chat hurdles you have to decide when to meet, best to do that promptly, you always put your best forward when chatting and talking online, you get each others expectations up and then they are shattered if there is no actual chemistry.
My method of choice there is to chat and then meet, ideally without exchanging phone numbers... I do sometimes and would like to actually get a new phone for that purpose only due to past experiences.
One guy I gave my phone number first to sent the first text and asked what time he was to come to my place... I said no way man, you could be a weirdo (How did I know) I told him it was best to meet somewhere neutral and then if we liked each other we could move on from there. He said something like yeah you could be fat- would you like to see a pic of my penis? I shouldn't have replied but for the sport of it I did. No.
Then he told me all about how he had met a chick online and shagged her even though she was fat, it was ok cos she had big tits. I couldn't resist telling him I had big tits but he was never gonna get to know if I were fat or not as I thought he was a weirdo. He sent me the pic of his penis. He told me he was having a difficult time trying to get laid in this town and often had to drive several hours away to Gore to score chicks. I considered printing off the pic of his penis and putting it on a poster saying "Watch out for this dick it belongs to a perverted weirdo" and plastering it around town, but I think the guy would have enjoyed it. He continued to text me long after the sport of replying wore off. He told me so much about himself I was able to identify him later when I had never even seen his face.
The next dilemma is how many people do you chat to or meet/date at once? You may get 4 messages in a day and of them want to chat to 3 and it kind of feels wrong, like you are cheating, yet there is no relationship to cheat on. Then you get confused as to who tells you what. Meeting so many people at once is a bit shallow sometimes, you don't really get to know them and can reject very easily on a whim.
Speed dating
I've only ever done this once, it was one of the funniest nights of my life. Penis Pic guy was there.
I went to internet dating with two friends, one male, one female. We all had totally different results.
There were conversation starters on the table, they ranged from trivia comments and facts, some of which easily led into conversation some of which didn't. There was one which made the observation that a species of pine tree produced the largest known reproductive organ for a plant. If I didn't like the guy right away I could pick up that one, read it out and laugh and comment - no wonder I like burning those!
The poor guy would look at his watch and start counting down the 5 mins we had together.
The guide was if after 5 mins you found you still enjoyed chatting to the person you should tick their number on your form and if they ticked you and you then you were given contact details the day after the event.
During a break I went and got a drink and a slightly retarded looking bloke came and stood beside me, he tried to make conversation but hadn't a clue, he started by saying this was soo much better than the internet, he had tried to join Facebook but it scared him. He said something about selling scale model trains on TradeMe... my mind went into overdrive trying to think where I knew him from... Penis Pic Guy... I felt like I sited a trophy beast and was lining it in my sights for a kill. He had no idea who I was, I'd not given away enough information. When it was our turn to spend 5 mins chatting I acted normal but even if I'd not known I would never have ticked his box. When I left it was too much for me and I laughed and laughed, next guy asked what I was laughing about... so I told him. Strangely that guy and I got on really well and we both had compatible box ticks, he was from out of town, we exchanged psycho dating stories on the phone for a few weeks then lost contact.
Friends of friends
I'd not actually recommend this but I do think it works when its done right.
As a friend who has fixed a couple of friends up, its a tough place to be if things don't work out right. Both of them want to tell you everything and talk to you about the other, but in confidence like you used to talk about people you dated before they were dating your friend.
When you meet a friends friends, how do you tell the difference between being friendly and interested? Its a fine line and its easily confused. I've had a mad experience with a guy called ChrisE, he was a lot older, he was a good friend of a friend of mine, she was leaving town and once gone he tried to keep the group of her friends together. He was over 20 years older than me. We had a conversation about age and I said to him and I believe this that age doesn't matter if its the right person, but it sure as hell does if its not the right person. He knew I liked riding pillion on motorbikes, he had a motorbike and offered to take me for a ride with a group he was involved in. I thought that was a lovely way to spend a morning so accepted. He kept telling me how much he liked another friend of mine so I thought I was safe, never thought much of it. Somehow during the trip we got separated from the group, he tried to kiss me but I turned my head away in time. When he dropped me back to a group of friends I got a text message from him saying how sad he was that our time together had ended. I sent a reply saying how i had a great time, it was just like when I used to ride on the back of my Dads motorbike.
The next morning I got a text from him that was totally unexpected. Basically suggesting a dirty weekend wouldn't harm our friendship. I replied that he had totally the wrong idea.
The next evening he had arranged to babysit for me and i wanted to cancel but he said we needed to talk and he had to apologize to me. He came over with a bottle of wine and when i came home from my class he offered me a drink, I said ok but never drank it. he explained how while I was on the back of his bike, holding him, our bodies moving together as one, my breasts pressed against his back, my thighs gripping his he got... wood. Ever since his cancer treatment he had problems getting wood and when the effect remained and he woke up the next morning with wood for the first time since he was in his 20's he knew he had nothing to lose by asking me away for a weekend. He is sorry he did and most embarrassed by his behaviour.
I replied that while I was happy to have helped with his problem it grossed me out cos he was like my dads age and I was not interested in the slightest. He replied that he wasn't actually interested either and his heart lay with the other friend of mine. I wondered if she knew.
Sadly, as he is a friend of a friend I have to seem him often... its rather uncomfortable.
Clubs and Classes
This is a great way of meeting new people, its not however a good idea to join a club or class because someone you like is in it... that gets you branded as a stalker.
This happened to a close friend, at a fancy dress party she snogged a guy dressed as an alien angel beauty queen, he looked devine, he had a lovely red wig, long fingernails, feathered angel wings and a tight red dress, his face was pained with scales. She was dressed as a male alien space station help desk manager, she wore a suit, had a blue face, silver hair and antennae.
The next day, somewhat hungover she found out his name, a mutual friend knew him. She asked around, she found out where he worked, where he liked to eat, who his other friends were, what he did as hobbies. Suddenly she renewed friendships with his mutual friends, she joined a dance class he was good at, she ate lunch everyday at his favourite cafe. She bumped into him as he left his work. He still had no idea who she was. One of her friends said something to him at her request. He visibly balked at the knowledge. She bought other friends along so she looked like less of a stalker, he seemed captivated by one of them. When he found out they were going to a ball on a small island he decided to go too. Her hopes were high. The three of them spent a bit of time together at the ball, photos show her looking dotingly at him and him looking dotingly at her friend who was looking at the camera. Lets just say things never worked out for her, she is still labeled as a stalker and over a year later her former friend and her stalkee are still a happy couple.
Bars and Nightclubs
Not always a great option if you have been drinking, there is always the effect of "beer goggles" and the resulting escape in the cruel light of morning.
Going out with friends is fun and as long as you are having fun you will attract fun people, like attracts like and all.
I met a delightful man in a bar once, a group of friends and I were playing "I have never"* and it was getting dull as we all knew each other too well and the chick who always had was pregnant so sober as a judge. So I invited some random fresh blood to the table in the form of three likely lads who were walking past. Way more fun was had by all. When it was time to leave I gave my phone number to the guy who had been staring at my breasts all night and said I had fun and if he ever wanted to catch up again give me a call. I heard from him within a few hours.
*"I have never" is most commonly a drinking game and a great way of finding out information about friends, it usually starts tame and turns to smut after a few drinks, most players know that so its the reason they play. You take turns of making a statement e.g., I have never done a parachute jump, all those who have jumped take a drink, if nobody has jumped you have to take a drink. Then its the next persons turn and it continues till you can no longer think of questions, by then the night is usually over.
Some insider knowledge is very valuable, as when you remember that Karen had sex with a guy on a trampoline after that party you can then say "I have never had sex on a trampoline" and Karen must take a drink. Sometimes its not a good idea to share all the details with your friends but chicks always do.
