Richard 1st

My most recent date - an internet chat and decide to meet for coffee....

Ok so it took about 30 text messages to decide on a date, place and time. Then the dude, Richard, is all like "wait outside for me, we can meet than go in together" I said screw that dude its freezing outside. I was about 3 mins late when i got a text message asking where I was.

I replied "opening the door" and by the time it sent I was ... I liked the way that happened.

So I asked what he wanted to drink, he was sitting there without a drink. Speights he replied and I knew the date was doomed, it was 6pm.

I honestly tried to fancy him, I sat there and imagined him touching me, kissing me, I nearly laughed, his top lip was really thin and rubbery looking, would have been like a goat nibbling. The conversation was controlled by me, the whole date was controlled by me. Richard was a military man but obviously more used to receiving orders than giving them. I found him pleasant enough company, maybe because I like to talk about myself. But I just didn't fancy him.

Then he asked if we should go back to my place... I pretended to have no idea at what he was suggesting.. I laughed inside at the idea I have never done that before.

I told him the truth, he was nice enough but lacked immediate spark and if he wanted to get to know me I would probably meet him again on a friend basis.

I then told him I'm bring pizza home to my family and its time for me to go.

He followed me to hang out while we got pizza.

He sent me a text about 11pm asking if I slept naked.

I replied I wore a long flannelette nighty and bed sock to bed and why did he want to know?

He replied he was touching himself and thinking of me. I stopped replying.

He sent text after text... too explicit to post here.

His last one came at 3am... he was unable to sleep... thinking of me.

Soooooo obviously I fucked with his head... I should find a better use for my powers but hey this is fun.

So, he has texted me a few times asking if I want to meet again. I ignored him. Then I got a message on the internet dating site and I decided to take a leaf out of my own book and replied honestly to him...

"To be brutally honest No, I find you a bit too sleezy, you crossed the line from flirty to sleeze and it grossed me out. No point playing games but it just didn't work for me.

Sorry."

Hopefully that is the end of this episode. Here's hoping I haven't tripped the psycho switch.